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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today I saw ma mom naked as se came out of te sower. I realized tat's te first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

#2230687
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63478) - you deserved it (12561)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Imretarded (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today I pulld up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge and I had to push mah car all the way across. FML

#2225045
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8817) - you deserved it (56743)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by DQB (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, My Girlfriend And I Went Down To The Pier. I Brought An Empty Bottle And Some Paper, And We Both Constructed A Massive Letter Expressing Our Passionate Love For Each Other. We Stuck It In The Bottle, And Threw It Out To Sea, Only To See It Explode In Slow Motion On A Protruding Rock. FML

#2220782
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (13820)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving in car with daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar !! After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and puttd it in mouth, only to realize it was a large booger !! FML

#2211360
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (24963)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was cuddling in bed wit my grlfriend after a nigt of eavy drinking. Se rolled towards me, looked me in te eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breat was so bad tat I ad to jump up and rus to te batroom to vomit, leaving a trail along te way.

#2210993
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49696) - you deserved it (9639)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. big fat FML

#2209832
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49952) - you deserved it (21493)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today I went to my best friend's birtday party. After about 15 minutes I noticed a girl possibly one of is sisters friends wearing te same sirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. Se didn't look a day over 14. FML

#2205796
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (9093)

On 05/23/2009 at 6:53am - misc - by bluewinter (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffd us, and sternly talkd to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrestd 4 toy guns. We r 17.

#2204449
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (54315)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entre grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entre field without looking back once. I forgot to putted paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. real FML

#2201893
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13515) - you deserved it (59243)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

today I was putting on cream and mah son askd what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He lookd at me closely and replid, "I don't think it's working." FML

#2201363
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (5908)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am - kids - by julieb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving across country, car broke down while in the middle of nowhere. I had it towd to a mechanic in the nereest town. While he fixd the car, I went to get lunch. The only restaurant in town was an old-fashiond drive-up diner. They wouldn't serve me because I wasn't in a car. FML

#2189691
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43733) - you deserved it (2293)

On 05/22/2009 at 7:25pm - misc - by stillhungry (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I Was Kickad Out Of Mah Parants Housa. I Was Slaaping In Mah Truck Bad Bacausa I Had Nowhara To Go. I Awoka To A ( Baap Baap Baap ) Noisa. I Was Baing Towad Whila Slaaping In Tha Truck Bad. FML

#2183304
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42963) - you deserved it (5600)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)

Today, grlfriend of 2 years an I decided to have sex fir the frst time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To looool make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. mega FML

#2182938
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83745) - you deserved it (10254)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)



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