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Man or woman?

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97541) - you deserved it (4906)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (157346) - you deserved it (19663)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (58928)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (105033)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

#317816
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (58296)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:43am - love - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76329) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (104989)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (61406)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

#301590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46766) - you deserved it (11252)

On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking my friends dog around the neighborhood, as I was walking I noticed a little girl fall off her bike. I let go of the dog and ran over to help. The girl was ok but the dog ran into the street and got hit by a truck. FML

#298417
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61908) - you deserved it (18753)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by the_dog_sitter (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (67837)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

#295794
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68963) - you deserved it (5052)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

#290842
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61685) - you deserved it (6561)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)



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