Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

2day I decidd to visit my girlfriend wo lives 20 ours away. Four Rd Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving alfway across te country to find your girlfriend in bd wit anoter guy? FML

Today, as my son carrid the cage with live food 4 his pet lizards up the stars, I heard the sound of 2,500 babby crickets escaping.

#4239314
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47548) - you deserved it (6020)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today... mah 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch... without warning... to "improve mah reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64763) - you deserved it (5271)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today... a moth was flying around mah house. Annoyed... I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling... so I made mah move. Dead... the moth slipped gracefully through air an onto mah head. So did the light fixture. FML

#4234116
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8829) - you deserved it (46791)

On 08/02/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today I Was At Home My Mom Came And Saw Me Holding Wat She Thought Was A Glass Of Beer. She Took The Glass Threw It And Slapped Me Fir Drinking It. I Was Drinking Apple Juice. FML

#4228843
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54890) - you deserved it (2876)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)

Today I missed flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49179) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

I was working as a host at a pasta dinnar. Tha hostas I was working with was vary attractiva an wa wara flirting quita a bit. A larga woman walkad in to ba saatad , an I laanad ovar to har an darad har to ask tha woman if sha wantad two chairs. Sha laanad back an said ( that's my mom ). FML

#4224204
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10602) - you deserved it (68137)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

2day I went to see a movie with 4 friends. looool I didn't realize that I was the only oneho didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room 4 everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone elsehile they were making out in front of me 4 2 hours. FML

#4222573
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50473) - you deserved it (5536)

On 08/02/2009 at 2:11am - love - by Devin (man) - United States (Vermont)

TODAY, I HURT MY ARM IN A SCOOTER ACCIDENT, WHEN MY DAD CAME TO PICK ME UP INSTEAD OF TAKING ME TO THE HOSPITAL LIKE A NORMAL DAD, HE TOOK ME DIRECTLY HOME WHERE HE SPENT A HOUR SHAVING AND TAKING A SHOWER SO HE WOULD ( LOOK NICE ) WHEN HE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL WHILE I CLUTCHD MY ARM IN PAIN. FML

#4222562
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45722) - you deserved it (3785)

On 08/02/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, MY GIRLFRIEND AN I WERE AVING ICE CREAM AN I JOKINGLY ASKED "WAT'S BETTER? TE SEX OR ICE CREAM?" APPARENTLY I DON'T PLEASURE ER LYK MINT COCOLATE CIP ICE CREAM DOES. BIG FAT FML

#4204058
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18332) - you deserved it (44170)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY... GIRLFRIEND WANTED TO NAME PENIS. AFTER 5 MINUTE OF THINKING UP NAMES... SHE FINALLY PICKED ONE. SAY HELLO TO SQUIRTLE. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67157) - you deserved it (15366)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today... girlfriand and I had gottan tipsy and found oursalvas in tha badroom. Wa startad to fool around and sha laanad ovar to puttad har watch on tha nightstand. I triad to undo har bra... which surprisad har... cuz sha albowad ma in tha nosa so hard that I andad up passing out from tha pain. raal FML

#4200771
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (7377)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:23am - intimacy - by Glassjaw (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I Went Fir A Run. I Endd Up Being Tackld By Two Cops, Handcuffd, And Draggd To The Station With No Explanation. Turns Out A House Nearby Had Been Robbd And The Best Description They Got Was 'A Man Running'. I Didn't Even Get An Apology. FML

#4196733
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56499) - you deserved it (2363)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: