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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

#5579779
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43043) - you deserved it (2064)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by egged (man) - Singapore - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (5106)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14840) - you deserved it (43829)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

#5579275
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9631) - you deserved it (39230)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

#5579057
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35581) - you deserved it (4768)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that 6 months ago I signed up for a 3 day trial for a porn website that turns into a $30 membership after 3 days. I completely forgot the day after and never viewed it. I've spent $180 so far. And I can't remember my password. FML

#5573814
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9264) - you deserved it (62799)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:22pm - money - by GetMoney (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (2721)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (3271)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

#5562258
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7906) - you deserved it (51131)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Unemployed (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was notified that I've been going to the wrong courses for 4 weeks. A friend of mine was the only person to tell me that the administration had taken the privilege to change my courses. I have now failed 5 courses due to absences and have been suspended from college for 6 months. FML

#5561435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (4798)

On 09/30/2009 at 2:46am - work - by Alex (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

#5556701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (2701)

On 09/29/2009 at 10:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

#5554431
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6999) - you deserved it (30132)

On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)



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