Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

#6497177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (14006)

On 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by badDriver (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13003) - you deserved it (34135)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

#6489895
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (16517)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (3742)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (7689)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (47189)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60347) - you deserved it (3113)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10129) - you deserved it (46901)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (2624)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14159) - you deserved it (27786)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (3897)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38411) - you deserved it (4654)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

#6467365
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (6948)

On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by anniecook (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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