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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

#21439124
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (1520)

On 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm - health - by gerbilmaster (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (4664)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

#21438468
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (15975)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:16am - health - by Jack Shart Jr. (man) - United States

Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML

#21438172
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19322) - you deserved it (3825)

On 07/07/2015 at 8:52pm - health - by BigHelp (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (1788)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21457) - you deserved it (5048)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (1833)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I tried to arrange my first gallery exhibition as a photography student. Not even my mother wants to come. FML

#21435796
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24368) - you deserved it (2077)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by jasondrags (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (2050)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (1563)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (1262)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (4187)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -



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