Today, I forgot my headphones at home. When I got to work I found out that today was also the day the band next door had decided to practice their only song for 8 hours. FML

by shit Music / 06/30/2016 at 3:32am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Work

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

by Code_Skull / 06/30/2016 at 2:53am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad might be dead. I'm basing this solely on the fact that he hasn't called recently to verbally abuse me as he often does. He constantly beat me as a child, yet now I'm kind of worried for the piece of shit. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2016 at 10:42am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the third day in a row, I have been volunteered to kill and dispose of the bugs entering my apartment. I live with two "manly" men who can't use a flyswatter. FML

by anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 11:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a dentist, I was performing simple tooth extraction when I realized that the X-ray was flipped the wrong way the whole time. I had to lie to the patient that the tooth that I accidently extracted needed to go as well. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2016 at 12:25am / Malaysia (Perak) / Work

Today, I waved money at a passing ice cream truck and it kept going. So apparently I can't even get a date with a Sno Cone. FML

by Scottie Too Hottie / 06/27/2016 at 6:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, an old friend of mine refused to go to a movie with me. Turns out he was sitting in front of me with my girlfriend. FML

by WhatALoserAmI / 06/27/2016 at 12:08pm / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

by lunarclips / 06/27/2016 at 10:08am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

by WrongPlaceWrongTime / 06/25/2016 at 2:51pm / France / Work

Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions. She then got mad at me when I went soft due to the pain. FML

by ItsGoneForever / 06/24/2016 at 8:48pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

by not a shitty situation so fuck you / 06/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

by Malarky / 06/23/2016 at 3:10pm / United States / Love

Today, my grandma told everyone I'm using steroids and amphetamines, all because she mistook my protein powder and vitamin pills for drugs. FML

by Pelly / 06/23/2016 at 6:26am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Health