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Man or woman?

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6398) - you deserved it (33421)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

#5600521
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (10183)

On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as 'some weirdo had walked into her house.' I am that weirdo, she wasn't joking. FML

#5600250
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (2564)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:46am - misc - by forgotten (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (11226)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

#5598199
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (5869)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

#5594181
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30922) - you deserved it (3958)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:43pm - animals - by catstew (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

#5594172
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (2175)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by needs_another_loan (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40824) - you deserved it (5204)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

#5585947
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38013) - you deserved it (5273)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (37627)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML

#5583286
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51029) - you deserved it (9539)

On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to "How can Dan have over 500 facebook friends? Nobody even likes him" there were 42 likes, and twenty comments that said "agreed." FML

#5581051
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (11658)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by notliked (man) - United States (Georgia) - moderated by Kevin Nealon



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