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Man or woman?

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35482) - you deserved it (2401)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

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0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159319) - you deserved it (40419)

On 12/31/1969 at 7:00pm - - by -

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31982) - you deserved it (3)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

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0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159319) - you deserved it (40419)

On 12/31/1969 at 7:00pm - - by -

Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML

#21367098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (0) - you deserved it (0) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/02/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by Marc (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (0)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

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0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159319) - you deserved it (40419)

On 12/31/1969 at 7:00pm - - by -

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (0) - you deserved it (0)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (0)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

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0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159319) - you deserved it (40419)

On 12/31/1969 at 7:00pm - - by -

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (0) - you deserved it (2508)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2) - you deserved it (0)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML



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