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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

#21487717
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29244) - you deserved it (2356)

On 11/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Quicky5_ (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a tailgating idiot rear-ended me at a red light, then had the balls to say it was my fault for "driving too close" to his car. FML

#21486416
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (1333)

On 10/31/2015 at 6:20am - misc - by fuck off you fucking shitburglar (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said "But seriously... no." FML

#21486387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (1746)

On 10/31/2015 at 3:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally got a promotion at work. Today I also found out that no matter how long I work, no matter how much effort and unpaid overtime I put in for 6 years, my coworkers will be convinced I only got promoted because I'm the CFO's son. FML

#21486358
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (2458)

On 10/31/2015 at 1:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML

#21486241
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (2419)

On 10/30/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was invited to my friend's wedding. I wouldn't mind, but she chose her now fiancé over me, despite him being in prison for assault, a heroin addict and a general dick. This was all because I accidentally called her stupid three years ago. FML

#21486098
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (3438)

On 10/30/2015 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

#21485980
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (1715)

On 10/29/2015 at 9:34pm - misc - by GonnaLockUpMySpices (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother got his very first paycheck and blew it all on weed and a godawful tattoo, whereas I have been saving steadily for three years. Yet according to mum and dad, I'm the one who is irresponsible with money, because if I was being responsible I'd have enough for my own house by now. FML

#21485888
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (1502)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was coming home from work and saw an old couple overwhelmed by the number of people at the train station. It was peak hour and I decided to help them. As I went up to them, they said, "Get away, go mug someone else". FML

#21485487
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (1556)

On 10/28/2015 at 3:29pm - misc - by qwerki4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML

#21485404
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (1631)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML

#21484484
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (2109)

On 10/26/2015 at 4:27am - work - by missPiggy (man) - Norway

Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML

#21484001
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (2671)

On 10/24/2015 at 11:39pm - work - by (man) - United States



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