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Man or woman?

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

#21337533
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (6152)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got banned from my school library after I ran after a guy who stole my bag. FML

#21337080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28688) - you deserved it (1783)

On 01/14/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by Skazzy3 (man) -

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

#21337071
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33728) - you deserved it (2692)

On 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm - love - by SouthPaw (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32299) - you deserved it (3716)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

#21334989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:03am - kids - by StabStab (man) - Belgium

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (2341)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (3149)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (2363)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (4265)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (3058)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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