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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

#21491133
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21403) - you deserved it (2126)

On 11/11/2015 at 6:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML

#21490774
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (1669)

On 11/10/2015 at 10:17am - work - by YouBossturd (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML

#21490060
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/08/2015 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was talking to a friend and bemoaning the fact that my new coworkers keep mixing up my gender. She looked at me critically and said, "Yeah, until you can grow a decent beard, people are going to keep thinking you're an intern or a butch lesbian." FML

#21489909
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (2090)

On 11/08/2015 at 12:14pm - work - by Eternal_Babyface (man) - United States

Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML

#21489787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25539) - you deserved it (2457)

On 11/08/2015 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

#21489520
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (2528)

On 11/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Hipnog (man) - Czech Republic

Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML

#21489505
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (1549)

On 11/07/2015 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML

#21489469
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (4676)

On 11/07/2015 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

#21489395
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Nuts (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

#21489306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (5546)

On 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm - misc - by honk honk, fuckwad (man) - United States (California)

Today, the only reason I have toilet paper is because someone decided to teepee my driveway and left an entire roll behind. FML

#21488841
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18492) - you deserved it (1901)

On 11/05/2015 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML

#21488529
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/04/2015 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML



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