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Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook an sent her a message saying just ":)"!! For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex!! Now I'm single, an my ex is probably planning her next move!! FML

#21324775
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (2286)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

yesterday I went to break up wit my psycotic bitc of a grlfriend after monts of abuse. Wen se opened te door, er 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" 4 te frst time. Now I don't ave te eart to dump te psyco and devastate er son. FML

#21324667
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (5115)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I Went Paintballing With Mah Girlfriend And Her Family. Her Dad Endd Up Shooting Me, And I Doubld Over In Pain. I Thought That Was It, Until He Steppd Back And Shot Me Several More Times In The Stomach. ( Just Double-tapping, ) He Smirkd. More Like Quadruple-tapping.

#21324616
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (3297)

On 12/26/2014 at 9:58am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, an I said "Keep this up an I'll tell Santa to take yur presents looool back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa" . FML

#21323581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (11086)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

2day I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so fir a laugh, I got up and quietly pennid the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decidd to let him out. Turnd out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad.

Today,hile shopping with my father , I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opend the door to the men's room , my father yelld that it was the ladies room. I then turnd around and went through the other door,here I endd up getting bitch-slappd. FML

#21322769
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (5536)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today... after doing tons of researc on a wand ma little broter wantd 4 Cristmas... I finally found one on eBay 4 $60. After already giving ma credit card looool info and confrming te purcase... ma dad calld me and told me e found te exact same one 4 six bucks at a local toy store. FML

#21322266
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (5764)

On 12/22/2014 at 7:54pm - money - by trippybmth (man) - United States

Today I found out I was the top ranking sales person 4 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34392) - you deserved it (3541)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a customar cummad in with a laptop smashad bayond rapair. Sha askad if wa could racovar har filas, but thanks to my idiot boss' naw stora policy I had to ask har a bunch of quastions, including if sha had triad "turning it on and off". Sha starad at ma, spaachlass, lika I was a complata moron. FML

#21321539
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (3740)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

today I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25372) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

TODAY, I HAD TO FIND SIMPLE WORDS TO EXPLAIN TO THE IDIOT I WAS TUTORING THAT ( 1/4 ) IS NOT OF A GREATER VALUE THAN ( 1/3 ) JUST BECAUSE THE DENOMINATOR IS BIGGER. FML

#21321107
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (4718)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today thanks to soma asswipa drunk drivar flaaing tha cops tha wrong way down a ona-way straat I'va now had mah third wrack this yaar . My insuranca pramium's now highar than Bob Marlay in a waad factory . raal FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (2742)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Yesterday, I sent mah grlfriend a looool long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls mehen she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replid: "TL;DR". FML

#21320982
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (3435)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm - love - by KalaKa (man) - United States



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