Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, I got to work and saw a new desk had been setup on stilts. 'Oh, who got the standing desk?' I asked. Turns out it's for the guy in the wheelchair who was right behind me. It needs to be high so the controls of his wheelchair can fit under the desk. FML

#21522017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17297) - you deserved it (3317)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (4679)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

#21521652
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18642) - you deserved it (1253)

On 02/01/2016 at 1:07am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (5002)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML

#21521366
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19908) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/31/2016 at 3:13am - work - by onlyjuggalos (man) - United States

Today, a car backfired as I waited for my bus and I screamed, thinking I'd been shot. The only thing more humiliating than that was the pissy underwear I had to go back home to change out of. FML

#21521061
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/30/2016 at 5:30am - misc - by AV (man) - Bulgaria (Plovdiv)

Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral I was told to man up. FML

#21521027
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (1583)

On 01/30/2016 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

#21521010
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (2208)

On 01/30/2016 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

#21520994
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (4063)

On 01/29/2016 at 10:54pm - misc - by MemoKrosav (man) - Mexico (Tamaulipas)

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

#21520891
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17394) - you deserved it (3083)

On 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm - misc - by Why (man) -

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

#21520882
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/29/2016 at 5:18pm - misc - by I Tried (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML

#21520859
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11452) - you deserved it (24155)

On 01/29/2016 at 4:19pm - love - by ALL PRAISE TO THE NIGHT MOTHER (man) - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: