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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML

#21525713
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5723) - you deserved it (427)

On 02/13/2016 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to take a coworker aside and awkwardly let him know he had a dried cum stain down the back of his shirt. FML

#21525636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11064) - you deserved it (755)

On 02/12/2016 at 9:35pm - misc - by FML (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML

#21525574
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13650) - you deserved it (1151)

On 02/12/2016 at 5:08pm - love - by SnurklesMcGee (man) - Canada

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

#21525521
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (2943)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:10pm - health - by neveragain (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML

#21525498
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13713) - you deserved it (4803)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:22pm - misc - by SK8WITME (man) - India

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

#21525225
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14534) - you deserved it (4243)

On 02/11/2016 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by Electro (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML

#21525176
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15460) - you deserved it (1829)

On 02/11/2016 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by CmS_1733 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML

#21525128
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15392) - you deserved it (2571)

On 02/11/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by J (man) - Malta

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8129) - you deserved it (43196)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

#21524799
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17297) - you deserved it (1151)

On 02/10/2016 at 11:57am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

#21524651
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15931) - you deserved it (1872)

On 02/10/2016 at 12:08am - misc - by ApparentlyaPotato (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, the power in my village went out. This caused the back-up battery powered alarm to go off. Nobody in the house even knew our alarm worked, let alone how to make it stop. It's been going off for over an hour now. FML

#21524147
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (1519)

On 02/08/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by James (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

#21523681
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (1620)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by OhDearGodGrandad (man) - United Kingdom (Redbridge)



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