Intimacy: Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to...

By shygurl434 - 15/03/2010 09:14 - United States

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 313

You deserved it 3 668

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Same thing different taste

Stinker

By taman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 428

You deserved it 5 478

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 100

You deserved it 3 626

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 858

You deserved it 5 293

By ordinaryday - 22/05/2012 12:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 268

You deserved it 3 344

By luckygirl - 14/12/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 997

You deserved it 4 530

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 667

You deserved it 3 562

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 4 616

Needed to know

By ohwell - 09/06/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for two years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time, and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response? "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 436

You deserved it 17 640

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 930

You deserved it 6 875

By Dana - 10/05/2011 08:36 - Netherlands

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 153

You deserved it 12 136

Apolloyn 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:01

thats a good thing

WtFiMdAdDy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:03

nice pooper? really. how old is he? hahaha....

Comments

Simplyjulie 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:02

lmfaoo. that's funny

iSitt 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:06

why do jerks get the girls ?

CallMeHush 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:24

Because they go for it! They don't sit around bitching about not having one.

Devolver 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:06

This is not an fml. He just likes some cushin' for the pushin'. Ask him on a date!

ahhhmber 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:20

jerks get girls because most girls have no self respect.

ahhhmber 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:22

AND they aren't attracted to the nice guys.

Chillz 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:29

why was your butthole exposed in the first place?

ItWasntMeDude 0

Monday 15 March 2010 18:30

A valid question, indeed.

Ecnassianer 0

Monday 15 March 2010 19:52

Indeed. You really should wear pants to school.

Ecnassianer 0

Monday 15 March 2010 19:53

What happened to the frog in my avatar? o_O -fixes-

okieraider71 4

Monday 15 March 2010 18:08

GIRLS POOP??? AAAWWWWW! The lies I have been told! I can't believe the Easter Bunny would lie to me like that!

xundria 5

Monday 15 March 2010 18:24

It's okay. You can pull through this, I know you shouldn't have found out he was lying to you the whole time this way...

collectadot 0

Monday 15 March 2010 18:26

heh when I'm with my friends and we see a chick with a nice backside I'll say look at the sh*tter on that critter

mirkayscar 0

Monday 15 March 2010 20:17

61... nice sh*tter on the critter???? bahahahaha that's funny!

pamalahh69 0

Monday 15 March 2010 18:49

he%27s+talking+about+your+ass.+

MiloC_fml 3

Monday 15 March 2010 18:53

HaH! Winnah!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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You deserved it 7 529