Intimacy: Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to... - FML

By shygurl434 - 15/03/2010 09:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 313

You deserved it 3 668

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Same thing different taste

Stinker

By taman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 428

You deserved it 5 478

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 100

You deserved it 3 626

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 858

You deserved it 5 293

By ordinaryday - 22/05/2012 12:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 268

You deserved it 3 344

By luckygirl - 14/12/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 997

You deserved it 4 530

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 667

You deserved it 3 562

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 4 616

Needed to know

By ohwell - 09/06/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for two years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time, and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response? "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 436

You deserved it 17 640

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Spicy

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 930

You deserved it 6 875

By Dana - 10/05/2011 08:36 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 153

You deserved it 12 136

Next

Top comments

Apolloyn 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:01

thats a good thing

WtFiMdAdDy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:03

nice pooper? really. how old is he? hahaha....

Comments

iamchuck 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:14

I bet it is nice, but FYL 'cus he wants to put it there.

Tripout 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:16

IN THE BUTT!!!! lol XD reminds me of a YouTube vid. X'D

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 15 March 2010 19:52

Reminds me of Butters Stotch.

cracktus 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:22

Sometimes you just gotta take it up the ass.

ahhhmber 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:23

true true.

fuckyourlife99 0

Monday 15 March 2010 19:51

ahahah thts funny cuz you were so against it amber but as soon as someone sais "sometime you have to take it in the ass" you agree, that was funny , if only everyone was this gullible

Schazam 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:23

You have a Fabulous Feces Factory! Your mother and proctologist must be very proud.

WtFiMdAdDy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:27

Nice alliteration there bruhh lol anti-flood is a (female dog)

yerliefsuks 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:30

how's your pooper? oh man, where I work we always say that good times

CallMeHush 0

Monday 15 March 2010 17:13

Good Times indeed.

xxcashmoney100 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:35

dha ****!! hahahaha

KurouTenshi 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:35

imagine the other equivalents: nice ass = nice pooper nice **** = nice milkers nice elbows = nice weenis nice hands = nice sammich makers

sum1savemeh 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:53

lol^

KaileeCat 0

Monday 15 March 2010 19:09

haha+win.+

ZXDriver 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 13:12

Win.

wimman 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:39

Boy likes you. Males get filters later in life. It's a start anyhow. Next time you see him, say, "Nice package."

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 15 March 2010 19:54

I don't think "package" is on his level. Compliment his wee wee.

shy_shy 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:56

WTF?

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Monday 15 March 2010 16:58

what a charmer. i hope he has a blog or website cuz i DEFINITELY want some tips from him on how to compliment women.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 535

You deserved it 94 594

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 571

You deserved it 36 947

Today, I got lost on my way to a wedding and yelled at my phone's GPS for giving bad directions. After 20 minutes of rerouting, I realized I’d accidentally set it to “walking mode.” I arrived 45 minutes late and sweaty in a full suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 475

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 428

You deserved it 60 274

Today, I realized my mixtape was truly fire when I accidentally ran it through the washer and dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 124

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 440

You deserved it 1 841