Miscellaneous: Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me... - FML

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 449

You deserved it 4 711

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Same thing different taste

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 4 566

By Kelly - 02/08/2012 08:11 - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 182

You deserved it 3 191

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 58 562

Don't hate the player…

By Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 807

By _guy_j - 06/09/2015 03:11 - United States - Glendora

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 3 395

Mixed signals

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 451

You deserved it 2 986

Breakout

By liisiuu - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 041

You deserved it 901

The hustler

By Anonymous - 23/11/2019 01:00

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 318

You deserved it 213

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 858

You deserved it 3 994

Next

Top comments

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

Eeeewwwwwwwww

rachelottavia 16

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

I hope you didn't say yes!

Comments

Mindset 11

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:12

That....is some nasty shit

captainsmegma 12

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:26

I would hold off if I were you young lady. $20 today to practice kissing will lead to $50 to practice *******. At the rate it won't be long til your brother is pimping you out to his friends.

prostar9993 15

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:40

Is his name billy bob?

jdcg116 10

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:51

Oh Hell No. Nasty.

sullivankeara 25

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:52

Just no.

mikkkx19 4

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:55

Awkward...

DrHothead 15

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:00

He's probably lying either about money or about date

Jacked97grand 9

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:19

Gross ?

RedHybridPanda 7

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:23

ah the south and eww

FrancoMC 5

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:36

Take the money and don't kiss him!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 714

You deserved it 47 492

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 7 173

Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 423

You deserved it 2 428

Today, my brother and I were standing at the baggage claim, waiting for our luggage to come out. We were commenting on all the bags that appeared, and when two large hiking packs came out I exclaimed "What kind of cunts go backpacking in New York?" The old couple standing next to us, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 618

You deserved it 87 294

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 228

You deserved it 3 439

Today, my wife finally gave up on our autistic 11 year-old son and decided to have him taken into a care facility, because his autism is so bad, all he can do is sleep, stare vacantly, play on his iPad, or scream for hours. I’m kind of glad he’s leaving, but I can’t shake the dam guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 975

You deserved it 1 068