Intimacy: Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I...

By embarrassed - 18/08/2014 16:39 - United States - Great Neck

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 651

You deserved it 20 522

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Same thing different taste

Baller move

By notafan - 07/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 3 577

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 438

You deserved it 3 455

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 158

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 029

You deserved it 8 878

By Keith walk - 12/02/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 318

You deserved it 22 959

By Username - 08/07/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 5 621

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 003

You deserved it 5 616

He bangs the drums

By PhilDavisDied? - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 266

You deserved it 35 478

Whenever

By InstantHardOn - 08/11/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 577

You deserved it 8 165

By Soundofaboner - 23/04/2013 16:08 - United States

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 451

You deserved it 10 117

ShadowlessSpear 21

Monday 18 August 2014 22:40

Hopefully he didnt ask what it was and poke it.

imlifeless2 25

Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

Oh say, can you see? By my dick's early rise...

Comments

PrincessSnow 2

Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:00

I read this as OP going to the baseball game with HIS dad....and was seriously creeped out until I terraforming this....

PrincessSnow 2

Tuesday 19 August 2014 4:59

Reread* damn autocorrect

tournamentdecide 33

Tuesday 19 August 2014 9:26

I first read this as, "Today, my dad had sex with his daughter to last longer. FML." so I think we both failed at a first time read.

calucalay 13

Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:02

i hear the anthem gets messed up a lot so it suprisingly needs a good portion of attention so that would make sense to sing that to last longer

mageepaigeee44 15

Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:10

My ex used to think about oatmeal because it's the least sexy thing he could come up with.

TogeBara 12

Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:23

Do math instead, it works better for most and you are smarter in the long run.

kookysoc 11

Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:35

L M F A O O O

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:44

Oh, say, did he see?

RayvenWhite 12

Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:53

LOL dude, that's just awkward for you but highly entertaining for us. XD

thisplacesucks93 2

Tuesday 19 August 2014 3:22

Freedom boner

Pandaburr1 15

Tuesday 19 August 2014 3:29

America gets me hard too

GnaR_KiLL5150 12

Tuesday 19 August 2014 3:31

Anticipa-rection

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You deserved it 9 192

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I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 151

Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 158

Today, I dropped and snapped a carving knife that’s been in my girlfriend's family for generations, and is used to carve the meat every Christmas. I'm a huge coward, so I hid it back in its box but when it gets taken out again Christmas Day 2022, I think I’m a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 1 474

Today, my boyfriend came home from a trip early without telling me. When I got to his house and saw his car there, I texted him and said, "Oh you asshole". About five minutes later, I got a text from my boss asking if that text was for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 975

You deserved it 5 041