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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

#21457532
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/18/2015 at 8:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML

#21457473
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (6247)

On 08/18/2015 at 3:07am - misc - by IrisKitty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

#21457412
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (1408)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:39am - health - by LoveIsOneSided (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

#21457409
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (1612)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:30am - health - by jami898 - United States (Oregon)

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

#21457386
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24686) - you deserved it (1563)

On 08/17/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by sonice (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (8958)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (1656)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (35474)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

#21456831
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17707) - you deserved it (7828)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:37pm - kids - by donuts678 - United States (New Jersey)



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