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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

#21425930
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (2164)

On 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm - misc - by lulumars (woman) - United States

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

#21425871
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (4437)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - money - by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

#21425682
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (5994)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - kids - by afather - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

#21425869
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23084) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by queenbee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29258) - you deserved it (1959)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

#21425418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (2432)

On 06/13/2015 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (4148)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

#21425373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/13/2015 at 8:42am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

#21425364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (1758)

On 06/13/2015 at 7:45am - work - by notfuckingpaidenough - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML

#21425208
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (7781)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by alyssaamarante - United States (New York)

Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML

#21425191
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (11147)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:06pm - work - by nancypants1124 - United States

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

#21425187
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (1763)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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