Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (1772)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (1987)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (8687)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (3673)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (1922)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, I planned a lunch out with my mom for Mother's Day. She seemed excited about it and "couldn't wait!" She never showed up. FML

#21407958
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (1783)

On 05/10/2015 at 6:08pm - misc - by weirdlaugh (woman) - United States

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

#21407716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27945) - you deserved it (6994)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (4519)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29319) - you deserved it (4293)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (2625)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

#21407465
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2052)

On 05/09/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by yapDogs (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: