FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

by shanson / 11/07/2016 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, as I was helping a customer, she asked if it was my first day and who was training me. Evidently, I'm bad at my job, because I've worked there for 7 months. FML

by jxfc / 11/07/2016 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I accidentally sliced open my crush's hand at work while we were messing around on break. A month ago, I broke his brother's finger playing dodgeball. No wonder I'm still single; he must think I'm out to get his family. FML

by yoyyo / 11/07/2016 at 1:29am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my fiancé asked me how soon I wanted him to move out. FML

Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML

by Z / 11/06/2016 at 6:33pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

by ozzy / 11/06/2016 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed because hers is ,"reserved for sleeping only". FML

by Arizonagirl / 11/06/2016 at 2:31am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, it's been three days since I told this guy I liked him and he told me he liked me. It's also been three days since he contacted me. So, I called his phone and I was told by someone that they were attributed that number three days ago. I think it's safe to say the feelings weren't mutual. FML

by myfuturelover / 11/03/2016 at 11:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

by Imwalkinghere / 11/03/2016 at 9:26pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I found out why you depressurize your espresso maker before changing out the coffee grinds. FML

by burrrito_ / 11/03/2016 at 8:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I complimented a guy on his Van Gogh costume. As it turns out, he had an infection in his ear. FML

by I'm an asshole / 11/03/2016 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I climbed to the top of the tallest building in my city with this guy I really like. He spotted the girl he had a crush on, and wouldn't shut up about her for the rest of the night. FML

by badatlove / 11/03/2016 at 4:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I was diagnosed with chronic vomiting. I've gone to 7 doctors and tried 13 different medicines, with none of them working. I've gone to therapy and taken up yoga with no change. So apparently, throwing up daily at random times is the new normal for me. Yay. FML

by leadwriteafw / 11/03/2016 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.