FMLs submitted from United States

Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML

by IJustWantedCheez / 09/27/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got pulled over, not because I was speeding but because apparently, I looked like a kid driving. The officer said I was too short to drive and needed a booster seat. FML

by ashleighsheba / 09/27/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I finally found the single flaw in my perfect boyfriend. It's herpes. Genital herpes. FML

by Yikes / 09/27/2016 at 12:34am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

by blue15564 / 09/26/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML

by awkward / 09/26/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

by Fat and Embarrassed / 09/25/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was called to be told I'm fired for not showing up for my shift. I guess she didn't check her voice message to see that I gave birth last night. FML

by jessiluvxx / 09/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

by comeonnow / 09/25/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML

by BossesLittleBrat / 09/25/2016 at 8:47am / United States (North Dakota) / Work

Today, a girl introduced herself to me with the line, "Hi, I'm Anna. I have a boyfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 8:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went downstairs completely naked to get water, completely forgetting that my daughter had a sleepover and they were in the living room. The ice dispenser woke some of them up, including my daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 7:22am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

by Rizmo / 09/25/2016 at 3:11am / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML

by Braceyourself / 09/25/2016 at 1:44am / United States (California) / Health