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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (3406)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (3842)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

#21100568
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (6702)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by moms a baby - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (16424)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40817) - you deserved it (3308)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

#21100070
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (49571)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:27am - misc - by Cult (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (2607)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (3401)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (3828)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (2575)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37220) - you deserved it (3128)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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