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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

#21355470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28574) - you deserved it (2945)

On 02/13/2015 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26418) - you deserved it (1978)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2049)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML

#21355305
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:36am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

#21355292
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (3730)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:13am - love - by cyprianista - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (7009)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (2457)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

#21354690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (5687)

On 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm - misc - by ahhhhhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

#21354669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (2823)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:25am - love - by Vampire Teabag - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (2749)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

#21354453
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (5134)

On 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



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