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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (3010)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

#21408927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (10656)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:38pm - kids - by NotAPrincess - United States (California)

Today, I was being chased by the cops, not because I'm a criminal but because I thought the SUV with red and blue lights was an ambulance, not a police officer trying to pull me over. I kept weaving out of his way for 5 minutes before I finally figured it out, and got my first ever ticket. FML

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25640) - you deserved it (1764)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (1982)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (8657)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3659)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (1921)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, I planned a lunch out with my mom for Mother's Day. She seemed excited about it and "couldn't wait!" She never showed up. FML

#21407958
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27008) - you deserved it (1781)

On 05/10/2015 at 6:08pm - misc - by weirdlaugh (woman) - United States

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

#21407716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (6977)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (4504)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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