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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

#21397382
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/21/2015 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (3216)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (2433)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (3133)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (1915)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (2913)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (6850)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (26885)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (2895)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (6877)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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