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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23841) - you deserved it (4589)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

#21419646
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (2724)

On 06/02/2015 at 10:59am - love - by skid (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my class was called to the auditorium. We were told that some asshat proctor took a picture of our testing room during out test and posted it on Facebook. Someone noticed that according to the rules, we were sitting too close to each other, so now we have to retake the whole test. FML

#21419617
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (1941)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Donewithit (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

#21419579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (1570)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

#21419568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27265) - you deserved it (4697)

On 06/02/2015 at 3:42am - money - by sorrystupid - United States

Today, the phone lines at work have been cutting out in the middle of calls. I'm a receptionist at an animal hospital. I now have less than two minutes to figure out what's wrong with a client's pet and how best to schedule them before I become "That rude bitch who hung up on me." FML

#21419304
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (1803)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:46pm - work - by thankyouforcalling (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (7100)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

#21419164
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (2656)

On 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by kash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

#21418872
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (1902)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:37pm - misc - by somebody (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24732) - you deserved it (5115)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

#21418593
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (3441)

On 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm - misc - by fffemaleee - United States (Michigan)



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