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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend had broken up with me. She was more upset about it than I was. She actually almost cried. FML

#21076568
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (3252)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:13am - love - by Chilly (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

#21076525
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32732) - you deserved it (2859)

On 03/03/2014 at 1:12am - misc - by get me out of this house! (woman) - United States

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

#21076482
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (8398)

On 03/03/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by ealovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (7441)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41060) - you deserved it (6279)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (5867)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML

#21075503
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43072) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/02/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34073) - you deserved it (13142)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

#21074975
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41044) - you deserved it (4332)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46275) - you deserved it (4822)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)



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