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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28417) - you deserved it (2121)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

#21345967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (2614)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got out of the shower and walked into my living room to see my sis' and her boyfriend sitting very closely on our family's fairly large couch. I laughed and said, "Look at the happy couple." Then her now ex-boyfriend burst into tears. Turns out they'd just broken up. FML

#21345785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (3792)

On 01/28/2015 at 7:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17466) - you deserved it (11206)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (2361)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on my first date in over 4 years with a smoking hot guy. The big event was a trip to Target. I work at Target. He took me to my workplace for our date. And they say romance is dead. FML

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML

#21345473
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (2225)

On 01/28/2015 at 3:07am - money - by nsb124 - United States

Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML

#21345280
106 comments

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML

#21345278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/27/2015 at 8:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26559) - you deserved it (1745)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (1979)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML



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