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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (3483)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

#21436048
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (4585)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

#21436042
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (5812)

On 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by notquitejuliet - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26444) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

#21435904
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (2235)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me that once you love somebody you can never truly fall "out of love" with them. She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about her ex. FML

#21435838
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (1759)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:52am - love - by worriedman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21435758
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (1763)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

#21435503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (1840)

On 07/02/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (3823)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (1510)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (1636)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24935) - you deserved it (1590)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)



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