FMLs submitted from United States

Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

by budadepressed / 07/18/2016 at 5:22pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

by mattlikesfunions / 07/18/2016 at 2:56pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I received an almost $400 bill for Internet services I don't even have. When I called and talk to them they told me I still owe them $77 because I didn't catch it within 3 months. FML

by bug20 / 07/18/2016 at 5:27am / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, my mom figured that the best time to announce that I'm adopted was during her speech at my wedding. FML

by DidNotExpectThat / 07/18/2016 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML

by Foolish / 07/18/2016 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I sent my grandfather a picture of me because he hasn't seen me in years. I guess I should wear makeup next time, because he sent back a heavily photoshopped and cropped version and told me how beautiful I look. FML

by Photoshopped / 07/18/2016 at 12:34am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

by Not true / 07/17/2016 at 10:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML

by pittmanw / 07/17/2016 at 10:54pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the hospital after my sister saved me from "hanging" myself. In reality, my sister choked me because I ate her last chicken nugget. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 9:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my debit card information has been compromised and that someone in San Jose, CA has completely drained my bank account. Joke's on them though. I was already broke as fuck. FML

by PseudoHappiness / 07/17/2016 at 8:16pm / United States (Missouri) / Money

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML

by ObviousBooty / 07/17/2016 at 3:31am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML

by LacrosseFAIL / 07/16/2016 at 6:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous