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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my dog ate my little brothers medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML

#3356894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (7757)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:07am - animals - by glowstick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

#3355159
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13779) - you deserved it (53335)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:14am - health - by POLYBLOT (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

#3348411
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (13084)

On 06/29/2009 at 10:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82551) - you deserved it (3195)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75585) - you deserved it (13657)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom, sister, and I were talking about a friend's girlfriend. My sister's opinion of her was that she was cute but not hot. My mom agreed, saying that she didn't think that someone without boobs could EVER be hot. She then looked at me and said "no offense." FML

#3341978
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46142) - you deserved it (3357)

On 06/29/2009 at 7:07pm - misc - by Atomic_Tangerine (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML

#3341149
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17121) - you deserved it (54707)

On 06/29/2009 at 5:52pm - misc - by Cheech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

#3335931
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48446) - you deserved it (4710)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by StillSingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a facebook relationship request from my crush of 2 and a half years. I was so excited until he posted on my wall, "Sorry wrong Catherine". FML

#3334835
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49516) - you deserved it (5647)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by wowzersthatsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48406) - you deserved it (12123)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)



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