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FMLs submitted from United States

Today my boss asked me to pick up some supplies 4 a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery was knocked to the floor an had my cash phone an credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story she said "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62404) - you deserved it (2989)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY, I WAS AT A BAR TALKING TO A VERY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN. I BEGAN TO SEE THAT SHE WANTD ME AS SHE PULLD CLOSER AND CLOSER. EVENTUALLY SHE PULLD ME IN AND LICKD MAH EAR LOBE SENSUALLY. SHE THEN SAID, "I WANNA BREAK YOUR COLLAR BONE." IN A SEDUCTIVE TONE.

#1681747
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62654) - you deserved it (7244)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

TODAY...HILE MASTURBATING AT THE COMPUTER... I WAS INTERRUPTD BY A FLASH OF LIGHT OUT OF THE CORNER OF MAH EYE. AS I TURND TO FACE IT... I REALIZD I FORGOT TO CLOSE THE BLINDS. STANDING AT THE WINDOW IN THE APPARTMENT ACROSS THE STREET WERE TWO GIRLS... ONE HAD A CAMERA AN WAS SNAPPING A SECOND SHOT. FML

#1680929
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15188) - you deserved it (60994)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)

Today , I was running late fir work. To save time , I grabbed mah belt on mah way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator , which stopped at the next floor before I had putted mah belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator , looked at mah undone belt , screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

#1679798
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (9613)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm - misc - by soldier (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandparents r in town fir the weekend and r staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML

#1678195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45239) - you deserved it (2542)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if tey were drunk. Wen I called te cops, I got pulled over by anoter cop fir talking on ma cell pone. FML

#1677183
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50803) - you deserved it (15485)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by airborne (man) - United States (California)

yastarday I want to donata blood for tha frst tima . Whan thay stuck tha naadla in mah arm , I had a panic attack and baggad that thay taka it out . Tha woman halping ma told ma sha'd taka it out in a momant and laft . It was than that tha Rad Cross stola a pint of mah blood whila I had a panic attack . FML

#1674851
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46569) - you deserved it (16404)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walkd outside to get the newspaper and slippd on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxer and a robe, mah legs got all scrapd up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

#1665462
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48315) - you deserved it (8576)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of mah Three Musketeers bar. looool I instinctively smild at her and chocolate drool pourd out of mah mouth. FML

#1658004
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (56331)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, AFTER LIVING WITH MY MOM FOR YERES TO SAVE MONEY I FINALLY MOVD INTO MY FIRST CONDO . THE DAY AFTER I MADE MY FIRST MORTGAGE PAYMENT THE SEWAGE SYSTEM BACK UP AN LEAKD INTO MY BEDROOM FROM OUTSIDE, RUINING THE CARPETS AN THE WALLS . I HAVE TO MOVE BACK IN WITH MY MOM UNTIL IT’S FIXD . FML

Today, looool I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past an yelld, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They lyk you!" I'm sixteen an my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

#1656975
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49864) - you deserved it (8280)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I OVERHEARD MAH MOTHER AN SISTER TALKING SO I STOPPED TO EAVESDROP. I RECENTLY ENLISTED IN THE MARINES, AN THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WOULD DO WITH THE MONEY IF I DIED. FML

#1656841
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166809) - you deserved it (12377)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)



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