Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today I was at the library . I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer . He left . I thought I'd check it out . As I sat down a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me . I'm now bieng fined for destroying public property . FML

#1722072
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49001) - you deserved it (14532)

On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket fir "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML

#1720755
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47531) - you deserved it (7013)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by sleepyt127 - United States (New York)

Today, I went to te pet store to get mice fir my mom's snakes. Wile cecking out, te guy working beind te register asked wat kind of snakes I ad. I told im tey were my mom's an e mentioned tis crazy woman tat talks to er snakes. Tat's my mom. mega FML

#1717469
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49769) - you deserved it (4169)

On 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the middle of walking homehen I saw an old woman trying to get away from wat lookd like a mugger. I go over an try to help her out an get the man off of her,hich was successful. Turns out she was having a heret attack an the man was a doctor. FML

#1716877
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41864) - you deserved it (16054)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by JuniorDetective (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , I found out that the guy i've been having sex with 4 over a month didn't know name until today. No wonder he alway ever called me 'baby.' FML

#1716313
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (65657)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by ummPORQUE (woman) - United States (Florida)

today I told my student that I would be absent tomorrow cuz my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. big fat FML

#1714959
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46540) - you deserved it (12405)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:50am - kids - by spanishteach (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my grlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then calld out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (96848)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Taday I released some ducks I ad and raised wit ma sisters at a local lake!! Tey were raised around ma uge German Seperd, wic explains y tey didn't freak out wen two uge dogs cummed out of no were and killed tree of tem, in front of ma little sisters!! FML

Today, I Was Talking To Mah Boyfriend On The Phone. After A Short Pause I Hear Him Say "I Love You." Smiling I Say, "I Love U Too." Then He Says, "I Was Talking To Mah Dog." FML

#1713391
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54648) - you deserved it (5373)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)

TODAY, TERE WAS A POTLUCK AT MA GIRLFRIEND'S OUSE!! I AD A SOUR STOMAC, SO I WENT TO TE BATROOM TO RELIEVE MYSELF!! WEN I FLUSED, NOTING APPENED!! TEY AD TO CALL A PLUMBER TO FIX TE TOILET FILLED WIT MA CRAP!! TEOLE FAMILY WATCED, NOSES PLUGGED AND FACES CRINGED, LOOKING AT ME!! FML

#1711398
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51293) - you deserved it (4266)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by mikesok988 (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today... my manager baild on me during the afternoon rush; swampd and distractd... I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returnd... hungry and sick with blood loss... to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break... right?"

#1708480
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54509) - you deserved it (2697)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:53am - work - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71814) - you deserved it (8099)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I left light on in car . I realizd it at lunch, made sure to turn the light off and trid to start it . The battery was dead, and I calld dad to jump it before I got back from game . I come back from game and the light were on . He left the light on looool after the jump . FML

#1705940
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41603) - you deserved it (5824)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by stupidlights (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: