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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

#4751
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12001) - you deserved it (5012)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Embarrassed daughter.. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21859) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

#4684
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9907) - you deserved it (19133)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6613) - you deserved it (25331)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31215) - you deserved it (4946)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2716)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (3166)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60241) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (1248)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14662) - you deserved it (3716)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (30516)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée "thought I should know" that she has a $125,000 student loan debt. FML

#4321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Noname - United States (California)



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