FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

by illinformed / 11/18/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fishes. My coworker named the three fishes what I thought were completely random names. I said "those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kid's names. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

by usmcgirl / 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

by unsuspcted / 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

by fmfl / 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm / United States / Work

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

by Spiller / 11/17/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML

by xYumix / 11/17/2009 at 4:23am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 2:21am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous