Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

#82135
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46651) - you deserved it (7596)

On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41383) - you deserved it (21580)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

#80589
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (11469)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51067) - you deserved it (2348)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50073) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46502) - you deserved it (4560)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (25599)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36632) - you deserved it (2049)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (7354)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (30134)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (26432)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41344) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: