FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got home from a family trip to Disney World. I had taken nearly 300 photos of our trip on my new digital camera. As our car pulled into the driveway, I was using my camera to try to delete one unflattering shot of me. I accidentally deleted every picture off the memory card. FML

by PictureLess / 01/10/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

by badsister / 01/10/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

by ishouldntdrink / 01/10/2010 at 10:11am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

by VAngelique / 01/10/2010 at 9:48am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

by regrub / 01/10/2010 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

by crappygirlfriend / 01/10/2010 at 2:59am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

by zenithbelana / 01/10/2010 at 2:01am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

by anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 12:55am / United States / Health

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

by bummed / 01/10/2010 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing "if you're happy and you know it." My mom joined in. And they sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

by 1thapp3ns / 01/09/2010 at 11:29pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 9:20pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Love