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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML

#3646949
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56950) - you deserved it (8797)

On 07/10/2009 at 6:28pm - love - by Shadowfigure23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52389) - you deserved it (11025)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

#3645286
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9285) - you deserved it (55733)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML

#3642336
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (12456)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by nerd_man01 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

#3641578
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43906) - you deserved it (18533)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60951) - you deserved it (31564)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

#3639163
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5906) - you deserved it (57315)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview, I went to cross my legs and realized I had 2 different shoes on. FML

#3637305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35681) - you deserved it (19520)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:08am - work - by unemployed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

#3633751
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15196) - you deserved it (47842)

On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document for the study abroad program that I'd applied for, which was due in a few days. Just as the envelope slipped out of my hand and into the mail box, I caught a glimpse of the upper right corner where there was supposed to be a stamp. FML

#3631450
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (36046)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by nostamp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

#3627701
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36036) - you deserved it (8700)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I turned 23. I had asked my mom for some things to decorate my new place. As I opened the box to reveal my gift, a mirror was inside. I liked the mirror. I did not like the note attached that said "Look inside the mirror to see who is now 100% financially responsible for themselves." FML

#3627514
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (17677)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:08am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, one of my bosses came into work and told me that they had seen my dad's twin in the supermarket holding hands and kissing a much younger woman and her baby. My dad doesn't have a twin. FML

#3624810
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51090) - you deserved it (2135)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by tor (woman) - United States (California)



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