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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

#5454109
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (3281)

On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML

#5453638
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (3983)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by frenchfrypotater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (4254)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

#5450785
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10735) - you deserved it (40624)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by BOOMerang (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML

#5450492
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46235) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:24pm - money - by shouldagone2work (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

#5449988
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (2314)

On 09/24/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Madison43097 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

#5448757
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41224) - you deserved it (3856)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (3243)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

#5445313
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34724) - you deserved it (6215)

On 09/24/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

#5444329
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34324) - you deserved it (3755)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:25am - misc - by rubber_duckie177 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML

#5443877
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10161) - you deserved it (47895)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - work - by whatproject (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

#5442113
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10271) - you deserved it (41196)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:24am - money - by fme (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

#5441571
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (12952)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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