FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

by Patrick / 01/27/2010 at 6:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

by DuChaillu / 01/27/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

by LivingInSin / 01/27/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

by boned / 01/27/2010 at 12:25am / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

by evil / 01/27/2010 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML

by Candace / 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

by poops / 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm / United States / Health

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

by Aaron / 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

by newniece / 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

by computergeek / 01/26/2010 at 4:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

by optimist / 01/26/2010 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

by dripdripdrop / 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Work