FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

by OhhhNooo / 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

by mommy / 03/14/2010 at 4:14pm / United States / Kids

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

by teachingsucks / 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 9:19am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

by crapcrapcrap / 03/14/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

by kkbb / 03/14/2010 at 1:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 12:46am / United States (Vermont) / Work

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

by leapple / 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML

by hurt / 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love