FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

by thanksalot / 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm / United States / Love

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

by Really? / 07/10/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML

by lauren / 07/08/2010 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

by whatheffers / 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

by unit / 07/07/2010 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, while driving, a girl on her cellphone cut me off. A second later, another person behind me on a cellphone rear ended me. Her excuse was, "I'm sorry, you weren't there a minute ago!" FML

by drivencrazy / 07/06/2010 at 12:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

by SOMAgirl / 07/06/2010 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I held the door open for an old man in a motorized wheelchair. He missed the door, hit my foot, and called me an asshole for getting in his way. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2010 at 2:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I finally got around to doing laundry. The washing machines in my condominium building take about an hour to do a load. When I returned to throw my clothes in a dryer, I realized they were never washed in the first place. I used my card and detergent to pay for another person's laundry. FML

by Pickle / 07/06/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

by toriforever / 07/05/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML

by metalmusic / 07/05/2010 at 1:37am / United States / Love