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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (5609)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (2696)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (9845)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you deserved it (13732)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (49883)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35816) - you deserved it (5406)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14432) - you deserved it (27911)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (6453)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12787) - you deserved it (28377)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

#6969342
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36169) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:34am - money - by Cheap (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (3957)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)



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