FMLs submitted from United States

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

by argh / 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 11:55am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

by jewel87 / 03/12/2010 at 11:39am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML

by steakysteak / 03/12/2010 at 10:06am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 7:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

by LXA429 / 03/12/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

by gorgeousgirl / 03/12/2010 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

by ugh / 03/12/2010 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

by meowtickmeow / 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous