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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a weeks pay. FML

#7372810
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9582) - you deserved it (25727)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:22am - money - by bankergirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

#7372755
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (2560)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML

#7370442
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (30249)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by emilyupsidedown (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

#7366734
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5524) - you deserved it (37983)

On 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by mah (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

#7365064
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (2685)

On 01/15/2010 at 8:22pm - love - by woundedexwife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

#7364285
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (6420)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bali_Boil (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

#7360407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8154) - you deserved it (37657)

On 01/15/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by stephiexbabexx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML

#7357250
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6767) - you deserved it (46077)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

#7356848
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6843) - you deserved it (29151)

On 01/15/2010 at 11:50am - work - by Sonic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML

#7354954
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30760) - you deserved it (2912)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34316) - you deserved it (3981)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

#7353412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29754) - you deserved it (5890)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:02am - love - by Rin (woman) - United States (California)



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