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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML

#6238965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43380) - you deserved it (2490)

On 11/10/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a company I interviewed with three weeks ago. They didn't mention giving my $200 portfolio back. Guess I'll keep using my 4-year degree to wait tables. FML

#6238713
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27705) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/10/2009 at 1:20am - work - by blargggggg (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (14760)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5897) - you deserved it (47432)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML

#6237110
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36927) - you deserved it (4744)

On 11/09/2009 at 11:02pm - love - by amanda_ae_erin (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

#6235478
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (7268)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm - work - by samantha711 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

#6230893
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (9343)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

#6230724
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39001) - you deserved it (2996)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:13pm - work - by Failure (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

#6228349
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (4007)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8892) - you deserved it (22752)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

#6223304
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28642) - you deserved it (4352)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by Abr829 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

#6222787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (4456)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by miseventshappen - United States (California)



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