Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

#6349337
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (2261)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fishes. My coworker named the three fishes what I thought were completely random names. I said "those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kid's names. FML

#6348891
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (29137)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43680) - you deserved it (1932)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21288) - you deserved it (6672)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13493) - you deserved it (35144)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35508) - you deserved it (12385)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

#6342558
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (9081)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

#6342074
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (5518)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9155) - you deserved it (26820)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML

#6338565
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6790) - you deserved it (55623)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by xYumix - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

#6337825
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in my hot tub with my brand new phone. I set it down and when I grabbed my towel I knocked it into the water. I quickly snatched it up and dried it off with the towel and suprisingly only one button stopped working. It was the unlock button, a perfectly good phone that I can't use. FML

#6337523
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7661) - you deserved it (44116)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by JakeHolmes (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: