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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (1632)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

#21436683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (1518)

On 07/05/2015 at 5:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML

#21436632
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (2571)

On 07/05/2015 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (2073)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

#21436510
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (3044)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:48pm - misc - by Bad Dancer - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my family claimed that I haven't ever broken a bone because I don't do anything risky. I broke my arm by falling in the shower less than 2 hours later and my entire family thinks I did it to prove a point. FML

#21436352
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (1993)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by hamurobby82 - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (4399)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3720)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (4774)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (2364)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (3483)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

#21436048
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (4585)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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