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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

#7842580
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (5505)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:57am - love - by lonestar (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

#7837909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

#7837856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32650) - you deserved it (4181)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32534) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33435) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

#7831807
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (3339)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm - love - by redjesus69 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

#7821879
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29797) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (5515)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51360) - you deserved it (38655)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

#7812980
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you deserved it (25041)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Forgetfull (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

#7811956
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/02/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by tony1401 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (2948)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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