FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

by tryon777 / 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

by 34_22_34 / 07/28/2010 at 3:27pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML

by RWW / 07/28/2010 at 1:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, my live-in girlfriend and I broke up. She told me she can't leave because she has nowhere to go. I'm stuck with her until she finds a job and an apartment. FML

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

by HM / 07/28/2010 at 7:42am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

by Happy 20th! / 07/28/2010 at 1:48am / United States / Love

Today, I requested two hours off for tomorrow afternoon. My supervisor and manager called me into the office to talk to me about how important it is to be in the office as much as possible. A little later, my supervisor told me that for budgeting reasons, I have to take 3 non-paid days off. FML

by hurikan68 / 07/27/2010 at 7:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

by idgit42 / 07/27/2010 at 6:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

by mr / 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

by aero00 / 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

by nu_ravers_101 / 07/27/2010 at 9:56am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

by mauimango7 / 07/27/2010 at 6:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

by uugnfg / 07/27/2010 at 12:38am / United States / Work