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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22920) - you deserved it (5774)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, I bundled up to shovel my car out of almost 2 feet of snow, only to find my car was gone. I ran into the nearby police station to report my stolen car. The policeman trudged down with me to get a report. I had parked my car on the other side of the street. FML

#8144453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5774) - you deserved it (29710)

On 02/11/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by snowbunny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

#8142277
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10113) - you deserved it (17740)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm - health - by unknown002 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

#8140774
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7094) - you deserved it (31501)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML

#8132975
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (8561)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:15pm - misc - by HellaBomber91 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

#8132919
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28507) - you deserved it (3472)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:13pm - money - by extants - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (3588)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

#8131977
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (2222)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by yourstruly - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

#8130787
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (6021)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (5327)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

#8129133
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (4556)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm - kids - by kbeavv - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He gushed on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML

#8125796
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (7423)

On 02/11/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Prodigy (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (7630)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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