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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

#8361360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22666) - you deserved it (8686)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:03am - love - by kippis05 - United States (Maryland)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33569) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

#8350664
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (2673)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:30pm - misc - by misspriss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML

#8350634
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8189) - you deserved it (25739)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:29pm - love - by croleymd - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31217) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29771) - you deserved it (5812)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned the reason they say don't keep your phone in high humidity places. I left my phone on the counter when I went to take a shower. It now won't turn on due to water damage and the warranty doesn't cover it. FML

#8341883
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6580) - you deserved it (34383)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12668) - you deserved it (24396)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

#8339859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (3153)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by tacolove69 - United States (California)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (10141)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

#8336704
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8383) - you deserved it (30905)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:43am - work - by alex (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (2422)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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