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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

#21439528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (1865)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49am - misc - by Stevarious (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML

Today, I went by myself to do a birthday party in a park, dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Everything was going fine until another Elsa and an Anna showed up to a nearby party. The kids then decided I was a fake and pulled my wig off. FML

#21439169
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (2204)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:08pm - work - by princessrose - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

#21439124
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (1517)

On 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm - health - by gerbilmaster (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (4663)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around the corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced him self to me as the head manager. FML

#21439023
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (4097)

On 07/09/2015 at 1:02pm - work - by notsogoodtrainee - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

#21439021
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (1908)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:51pm - love - by dollfacee - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

#21438957
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (3231)

On 07/09/2015 at 9:42am - love - by dtack2tack - United States

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (8535)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (1994)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

#21438778
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (1922)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by momoftheyearedition - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

#21438625
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26304) - you deserved it (1672)

On 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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