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FMLs submitted from United States

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

#21401449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (2363)

On 04/28/2015 at 10:43pm - animals - by simple living - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (4538)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

#21401319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (1969)

On 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by full bladder - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#21401116
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (2849)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by PPP - United States

Today, I dressed up sexy to cheer up my boyfriend after a bad day at work. Instead of being cheered up, he accused me of dressing up that way for the male DJs at the radio station where I work. FML

#21401112
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:00am - love - by koalaburr - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (2625)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

#21400557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (6198)

On 04/27/2015 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (3643)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

#21400331
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (8987)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

#21399911
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/26/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



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